jesnicole's Xanga

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 03:03:48 GMT

LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO SOME OF MY FOUR-YEAR-OLD'S NUGGETS OF WISDOM......

"GUARD-STEMMER"-THAT'S ANY LONG, GOOD STICK HE CAN FIND OUTSIDE.

"GUARD-STEMMING"-THAT'S WHAT HE DOES TO THE GROUND.....STILL NOT SURE WHAT IT IS. MAYBE HIS WAY OF GARDENING.

"SMACKIN' IT UP"-OH, YOU DIDN'T KNOW ALREADY? SURELY YOU'VE HEARD OF THIS. HE TAKES HIS "GUARD-STEMMER" AND DRAGS IT ALONG THE GRASS, THUS THE TERM "SMACKIN' IT UP".

"MOLE-HOLE DIGGIN'"-SELF EXPLANATORY.

"FORKIN' IT UP"-USING A FORK TO THROW SOMETHING, ANYTHING UP INTO THE AIR.

I'M SURE YOU'RE ENLIGHTENED NOW.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 20:11:36 GMT

*I REMEMBER A PAIR OF RED BOOTS MY MOMMA HAD WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL, THEY HAD A RED LEATHER BELT THAT MATCHED. I ABSOLUTELY ADORED THOSE BOOTS AND THAT BELT. I ALWAYS WANTED TO WEAR THEM, BUT I WAS TOO LITTLE, I COULDN’T FIT INTO HER BOOTS YET. IT IS MY MISSION TO FIND AN AWESOME PAIR OF RED BOOTS FOR MYSELF THIS YEAR. I CAN’T WAIT. I CAN’T WAIT TO FIND SOME AWESOME LIL’ BOY BOOTS FOR DYLAN, TOO.

*TO YOU SEWING MOMMAS, I'M LOOKING FOR A GOOD SEWING MACHINE. I HAVE NO IDEA WHATSOEVER WHAT TO BUY. I'D LIKE ONE THAT ALSO EMBROIDERS. ANY IDEAS ON WHAT'S GOOD OUT THERE, BUT AFFORDABLE?

*I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO READY FOR SPRING. I AM READY TO BE ABLE TO GO OUTSIDE AND LET DYLAN RUN AROUND WITHOUT A COAT ON. I’M READY FOR FLOWERS. I’M READY FOR LEAVES. I’M READY FOR A LATER SUNSET. I’M READY FOR NEW LIFE.

*I LOVE MY HUSBAND SO MUCH. I LOVE MARRIAGE. IT’S JUST WONDERFUL IN SO MANY WAYS. SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL TO ME IS GETTING MARRIED SOON, AND I’M SOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY FOR HER!!! SHE HAS NO IDEA HOW EVERY YEAR THAT HAPPENS OVER THEIR LIVES WILL ONLY GET BETTER, AND HOW THEY WILL LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH MORE THAN THEY DO AT THIS MOMENT.

*DYLAN’S DOING VERY WELL IN SCHOOL AND LOVING IT. IF EVERYTHING GOES AS PLANNED, HE STARTS 1ST GRADE IN APRIL OR MAY. I’M LOVING HOMESCHOOLING.

*I AM VERY MUCH LOOKING FORWARD TO THE REST OF 2009. I CAN’T EXPLAIN IT, BUT I JUST HAVE SUCH GOOD FEELINGS AND EXPECTATIONS FOR IT. LORD, THANK YOU, EVEN BEFORE YOU HAVE, FOR ANSWERING MY PRAYERS TO YOU THIS YEAR.

HOPE.

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 20:20:51 GMT

HAS THE PAIN OVERWHELMED YOU LATELY?

IS THERE A BIG CLOUD OVER YOUR HEART?

DO THINGS LOOK DARK ALL AROUND,

DO YOU FEEL LIKE FALLING APART?

WHEN YOU AWAKEN EACH NEW DAY

DO YOU JUST NOT WANT TO SMILE?

HAS THE NUMBNESS SET IN WHERE JOY

USED TO BE, DO YOU JUST WANT TO CRY FOR A WHILE?

ARE YOU TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT TRAGEDY?

DOES HAPPINESS SEEM FAR AWAY?

DO YOU JUST WANT TO SCREAM AND SHOUT,

NEED SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO YOU TODAY?

ARE THERE TIMES YOU FEEL ALL ALONE,

THOUGH YOU KNOW THERE ARE MANY AROUND?

DO YOU JUST WANT TO OPEN YOUR WINGS AND FLY,

BUT YOU KNOW YOU’RE STUCK THERE ON THE GROUND?

ARE YOU WEARY FROM FACING SORROW?

AND NOT JUST YOURS, BUT THOSE WHOM YOU LOVE?

DO YOU FEEL AT TIMES THERE IS NO HOPE,

BUT YOU STILL LOOK FOR HELP FROM ABOVE?

HAVE OTHER’S ANSWERS JUST FAILED YOU?

THOUGH WITH GOOD INTENTIONS, THEY COME…

YOU STILL HEAR WORDS OF EMPTINESS,

AND YOU’VE FOUND HOPE IN NOONE?

MY CHILD, I HAVE NEVER PROMISED

THAT YOU’D HAVE EVERY SINGLE THING THAT IS GOOD…

I JUST ASKED YOU TO ALWAYS FOLLOW ME,

THOUGH AT TIMES YOU WOULDN’T THINK YOU COULD.

I NEVER PROMISED ALL YOUR DAYS WITHOUT SORROW,

DEATH, TRAGEDY, AND SICKNESS ARE ALL PART OF THIS LIFE.

BUT OH WHAT SWEETNESS AWAITS YOU

WHEN YOU MAKE IT THROUGH ALL THE STRIFE.

I NEVER PROMISED TO BE YOUR GENIE,

ANSWERING YOUR EVERY LITTLE WHIM,

BUT I DID ASK YOU TO STILL KEEP TRUSTING IN ME,

THOUGH ALL AROUND YOU SEEMS GRIM.

I NEVER SAID TO PRETEND THINGS ARE FINE,

OR TO JUST PRETEND YOU HAVE NO PAIN….

YOU HAVE TO BE REAL WHEN YOU COME TO ME,

AND STILL TRUST ME WHEN GRIEF COMES AGAIN.

SO AS YOU GO THROUGH THESE HORRIBLE MOMENTS

AND YOU WANT TO WISH IT ALL AWAY,

COME ONLY TO ME, I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE,

I DID PROMISE I’D NEVER GO AWAY.

AND IN THOSE TIMES THAT YOU FEEL ISOLATED

LIKE THE RAIN HAS DROWNED AWAY THE LIGHT,

REMEMBER THAT I AM HOLDING YOU CLOSE,

THROUGH EACH DAY, AND THROUGH EACH NIGHT.

AND WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE LOSING IT,

GO AHEAD AND LET IT ALL OUT.

COME TO ME, SCREAM AND CRY TO ME,

I CAN TAKE IT ALL, EVEN YOUR SHOUTS.

FALL APART AND CRY UNTIL YOU CAN CRY NO MORE,

AND JUST LET ME WRAP MY ARMS AROUND YOU.

FALL APART LIKE YOU’VE WANTED TO FOR SO LONG,

IT’S THE BEST THING THAT YOU CAN DO.

AND REMEMBER THE PAIN YOU HAVE IN THIS LIFE

WON’T LAST FOREVER, IT WILL ALL SOON BE GONE.

I, YOUR LORD, HAVE ALREADY HAD THE LAST WORD,

I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU TO LEAN ON.

I AM YOUR PEACE, AND I AM YOUR LIGHT,

I BRING YOU DELIVERANCE, COMFORT, AND HOPE.

AND MY PRECIOUS CHILD, I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE,

EACH TIME YOU’VE COME TO THE END OF YOUR ROPE.

J.N.S. January 14, 2009

Monday, January 12, 2009

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 03:58:47 GMT

*IT’S SO EASY TO FORGIVE MOST OF THE TIME, ISN’T IT? I MEAN, ONCE YOU GET PAST THE HURT, THE ANGER, THE BETRAYAL…….AS LONG AS THE PERSON WHO WRONGED YOU SHOWS TRUE REMORSE. AS LONG AS THEY REALLY ARE SORRY, FORGIVENESS IS A LITTLE EASIER. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SECOND TIME, THE THIRD, FOURTH, FIFTH? JESUS, IN ESSENCE, SAID FORGIVE “SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN”….AND THAT IF WE DON’T FORGIVE, WE WON’T BE FORGIVEN.

AND HERE’S WHAT I’VE BEEN LEARNING. I HAVE BEEN HURT DEEPLY MANY TIMES (HAVEN’T WE ALL??!)….BUT THIS PARTICULAR TIME HAS BEEN BY THE SAME PERSON, OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. AND I HAVE CONTINUED TO FORGIVE. HOWEVER, THIS PERSON HAS NEVER, NOT ONCE, ADMITTED DOING ANY WRONG TOWARDS ME. AND I DOUBT THIS PERSON EVER WILL. THAT’S HARD. FORGIVENESS IS A TAD HARDER WHEN SOMEONE WHO IS A CHILD OF GOD, WHO KNOWS BETTER, CONTINUES TO HURT YOU….WITHOUT EVEN SEEING HOW HURTFUL THEY’VE BEEN. WHAT I HAVE DONE; I HAVE FORGIVEN. (AND HONESTLY, IT WASN’T THAT EASY….I STRUGGLED FOR A WHILE WITH IT.) BUT I REALIZED THAT I BOTH WANT TO, AND AM CALLED TO. AND I PRAY FOR THIS PERSON. AS HARD AS THAT IS SOMETIMES, I DO. AND IT IS HARDER ON SOME DAYS. ESPECIALLY WHEN I REMEMBER THE WRONG HANDED TO ME, OR WHEN THIS PERSON HURTS ME ALL OVER AGAIN. BECAUSE ONE THING I’VE LEARNED IN LIFE IS THAT USUALLY WHEN PEOPLE ARE JUST DOWNRIGHT HORRIBLE, NASTY, HATEFUL, SELFISH, RUDE…(AND I’M TALKING ABOUT CHRISTIAN PEOPLE, THE ONES WHO TRULY KNOW BETTER…)…WHEN PEOPLE EXHIBIT THOSE BEHAVIOURS…..THEY ARE HURTING. THEY ARE MISERABLE, AND THOUGH THEY MAY NOT EVEN KNOW IT, THEY WANT OTHERS TO FEEL THAT SAME HURT. (I'M NOT SAYING THAT WE'RE TO ALWAYS EXCUSE HURTFUL BEHAVIOUR.....THERE COMES A TIME WHEN WE DO FORGIVE....YET THROUGH THAT FORGIVENESS, WE STILL HAVE TO CREATE DISTANCE BETWEEN THOSE WHO ARE HARMING US OR OUR LOVED ONES. I DON'T BELIEVE WE'RE CALLED TO BE DOORMATS.)

FORGIVE SOMEONE WHO WRONGED YOU TODAY, WHETHER THEY ASK FOR IT OR NOT. YOUR SPIRIT WILL REST MUCH BETTER. DON’T EXCUSE THEIR BEHAVIOUR, BECAUSE IT DOES NEED TO STOP. BUT FORGIVE THEM. BECAUSE YOU WANT TO, YOU NEED TO, AND MORE THAN THAT….JESUS SAID TO.

AND IF YOU’RE THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS, (WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE, TOO….) DON’T LET PRIDE STOP YOU. DO IT QUICKLY, DON’T WAIT. GO AHEAD AND GET PAST YOURSELF AND THINK OF HOW WE’RE CALLED TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER.

***EDIT: I JUST WANTED TO PUT YOUR MINDS AT EASE....AFTER READING THIS, IT SEEMS THAT I MAY BE TALKING ABOUT MY HUSBAND. NO, IT'S NOT HIM. HE'S A WONDERFUL HUSBAND. AND WHO IT'S ABOUT ISN'T REALLY IMPORTANT....I WROTE THIS TO SHARE WHAT I'VE LEARNED OVER THE PAST SEVERAL YEARS ABOUT FORGIVENESS. I HOPE IT HELPED SOMEONE.

JOY AND PAIN.

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 23:21:01 GMT

I FINALLY KNOW WHAT IT MEANS
TO LOVE YOU THROUGH MY DESPAIR.
TO LOVE YOU THROUGH THE HURT,
WHEN I CAN’T SEE YOU ANYWHERE.

TO LOVE YOU, BUT STILL WONDER
WHY YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DO.
TO LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH I FEEL
SO FAR AWAY FROM YOU.

TO TRUST IN YOU WHEN DARKNESS
SEEMS TO COVER THE WHOLE SKY,
TO HOPE IN YOU, TO FOLLOW,
TO LET YOU COMFORT ME WHEN I CRY.

I’M LEARNING HOW TO HOPE IN YOU
WHEN ALMOST ALL HOPE IS GONE.
TO TRUST YOU’RE STILL HERE
WHEN IT FEELS LIKE I’M ALONE.

I’M LEARNING HOW TO TRUST YOU
WHEN WAITING IS WHERE I’VE STAYED…
EVEN THOUGH EACH AND EVERY NIGHT
ALL I’VE DONE IS PRAYED AND PRAYED.

I’VE BEEN PRAYING FOR YOU TO COME,
FOR YOU TO ANSWER MY PRAYERS…
AND I’LL KEEP ASKING, I’LL KEEP HOPING,
THOUGH I CAN’T SEE YOU ANYWHERE.

BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU ARE HERE, LORD
I KNOW ALONE I’LL NEVER BE…
BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU’D NEVER LEAVE,
AND THAT YOU’D ALWAYS BE NEAR ME.

THIS WAITING I’VE BEEN DOING, GOD
CAN HURT SO MUCH SOME DAYS…
I WONDER IF I’VE DONE SOMETHING WRONG…
IF I NEED TO CHANGE MY WAYS.

BUT I REMEMBER THAT LIFE HAPPENS.
YOU CAUSE GOOD AND BAD TO RAIN.
AND LORD, I WILL STILL CLING TO YOU,
THROUGH ALL THE JOY AND PAIN.

JESSICA NICOLE SCHAFER
December 20, 2008

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 21:06:57 GMT

*IT’S SNOWING LIKE CRAZY OUTSIDE. SO PRETTY, YET DEPRESSING AT THE SAME TIME.

*I MADE A SEVENTY-SIX MILLION COURSE MEAL FOR THANKSGIVING, IT WAS DELICIOUS….IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF.

*MY DADDY WAS HERE, AND WILL BE HERE THROUGH THE NEXT MONTH OR SO, SO I’M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GLAD ABOUT THAT.

*MY ANKLE IS STILL HURTING, HASN’T HEALED ALL THE WAY YET. (PROBABLY HAS A LOT TO DO WITH BEING ON MY FEET FOR TWO DAYS IN A ROW COOKING…….’YA THINK?)

*I AM READY FOR 2009.

*ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE CAME UP TO SEE ME FRIDAY!!! I’M SO GLAD I GOT TO SEE HER. I NEEDED THAT! AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, SHE OFFERED TO DESIGN OUR CHRISTMAS CARDS THIS YEAR, AND THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL. LOOKING FORWARD TO SENDING THOSE. THANK YOU, HILARIE!!!

*MY COUSIN FROM TEXAS HAPPENED TO BE IN A CITY NEAR ME AND WAS ABLE TO COME HAVE THANKSGIVING DINNER WITH US. THAT WAS SUCH A NEAT THING.

*I STILL HAVE SOME SHOPPING TO DO FOR CHRISTMAS, PLEASE TELL ME I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE!!

*MY HUSBAND, WHO IS 6’8”, HAS BEEN DOING ALL THE DISHES AND KITCHEN CLEANING SINCE I HURT MY ANKLE. I APPRECIATE HIM SO MUCH. BUT HONESTLY, I APPRECIATE HIM A LITTLE MORE KNOWING HE’S BEEN DOING IT AND HURTING HIS BACK SO MUCH….HE’S LITERALLY BENT IN HALF THE WHOLE TIME HE’S CLEANING. THANK YOU, LOVE. YOU SPOIL ME. (AFTER RE-READING THIS, WE SOUND LIKE A COUPLE OF NINETY-YEAR OLDS….HAHAHA. OH WELL, I’M SURE HE’LL STILL DO STUFF LIKE THAT FOR ME WHEN WE ARE 90!)

*I MAY GET TO SEE MANDOLYN AND BEN THIS MONTH, AND I’M SOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED ABOUT THAT. WE HAVEN’T SEEN THEM IN OVER TWO AND A HALF YEARS.

*I MISS MY FRIENDS A WHOLE HECKUVALOT RIGHT NOW.

*I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO 2009. I KNOW I ALREADY SAID THAT. BUT IN LIGHT OF HOW THE LAST YEAR’S BEEN, IT’S THROWN HEARTACHE, GRIEF, WORRY, SOLIDARITY, AND A LOT MORE I HAVEN’T BLOGGED ABOUT MY WAY. SO FOR THANKSGIVING, I WAS THANKING GOD FOR WHAT HE WILL DO NEXT YEAR, AND THE YEAR AFTER, AND SO ON. LIFE AIN’T ALWAYS PEACHES AND ROSES. THIS PAST YEAR HAS INDEED BEEN A CACTUS FOR ME. I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO THE RAINBOWS AND SUNSHINE THAT I HAVE BEEN BEGGING GOD TO SEND OUR WAY. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE BEEN PRAYING FOR ME, I ASK YOU TO DO SO AGAIN THIS WEEK. IT’S ABOUT TO BE A YEAR SINCE EVERYTHING STARTED FALLING APART. THANK YOU. IT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME. IF YOU HAVE YOUR MOMMA WITH YOU, HUG HER TIGHT THIS YEAR. HUG HER TIGHT EVERY CHANCE YOU GET.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 21:50:21 GMT

AS HE WAS SQUIRMING ALL AROUND IN THE TUB, I WAS BUSY TRYING TO WASH HIS HAIR WHILE STANDING ON AN ANKLE THAT STILL HURT TERRIBLY. SO, I WAS TRYING TO GET MY PRECIOUS SON’S BATH DONE QUICKLY TO SPARE MYSELF A LITTLE BIT OF PAIN. AS EVERYONE KNOWS, IT’S NOT EASY FOR LITTLE ONES TO BE STILL, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY’RE SURROUNDED BY BUBBLES AND TOYS. “OKAY, BABY. MOMMY HAS TO WASH YOUR HAIR, SO LOOK UP FOR ME…” I SAID TO HIM AS I WAS POURING WATER ON HIS LITTLE HEAD AND THEN PROCEEDED TO LATHER THE SOAP UP. AMIDST HIS FAVORITE TIME OF THE EVENING, I BEGAN TO POUR THE WATER OVER HIS HEAD TO RINSE OUT THE SOAP…ALL THE WHILE REMINDING HIM TO LOOK UP. AND OF COURSE, AS IT HAPPENS ALMOST EVERY BATHTIME, HE LOOKED DOWN IN SEARCH OF THE TOY THAT JUST SLIPPED OUT OF HIS HAND. HE STARTED STRESSING OUT A LITTLE BIT, QUICKLY SEARCHING FOR ME TO GRAB ONTO SO HE COULD USE MY SHIRT TO DRY HIS EYES. I QUICKLY SAID TO HIM, “DYLAN, BABY, YOU HAVE TO KEEP LOOKING UP, OKAY? YOU HAVE TO LOOK UP BECAUSE AS SOON AS YOU LOOK DOWN ALL THE SOAP AND WATER GETS INTO YOUR EYES AND YOU CAN’T SEE ANYTHING, AND THAT’S WHY IT HURTS.”

I KID YOU NOT, AS SOON AS THOSE WORDS WERE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH, I COULD HEAR THE SAME WORDS BEING TOLD TO MYSELF. LIFE’S HARD? ARE YOU ALONE? ARE YOU WORRIED? ARE YOU STRESSED? HAVE YOU BEEN BETRAYED? WORRIED ABOUT BILLS? WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH OR THAT OF A LOVED ONE? HAVE YOU BEEN LET DOWN? HAVE YOU BEEN ABANDONED? ARE YOU HURTING? ARE YOU DISCOURAGED? ARE YOU BURNT OUT? ARE YOU GRIEVING? SAD? FRUSTRATED? ANGRY? KEEP LOOKING UP.

THOUGH WE SOMETIMES HAVE TO LIVE THROUGH TIMES IN LIFE THAT ARE MUCH LESS THAN HAPPY, WE HAVE TO KEEP LOOKING UP. HE IS OUR HOPE. HE IS OUR FRIEND. “THOUGH HE SLAY ME, I WILL HOPE IN HIM. NEVERTHELESS I WILL ARGUE MY WAYS BEFORE HIM.” (JOB 13:15)
SINCE THE LAST YEAR, AFTER LOSING MY BEST FRIEND, MY SWEET MOMMA, LIFE HAS BEEN TOUGH. IT’S BEEN DESPERATE, I HAVE BEEN DESPERATE. I WON’T GO INTO EVERYTHING LIFE’S BEEN HANDING MYSELF AND MY FAMILY, BUT SUFFICE IT TO SAY THAT WE ARE READY FOR A CHANGE, WE ARE READY FOR SOMETHING GOOD. THROUGH ALL THIS, I HAVE KEPT CLOSE TO MY HEAVENLY FATHER, THOUGH HE INDEED IS POWERFUL ENOUGH TO STOP ALL THE HEARTACHE, HE ALLOWS IT…..YET I CAN ONLY CLING TO HIM BECAUSE HE HOLDS THE POWER OF LIFE AND DEATH IN HIS VERY HAND. HOW CAN I NOT STILL RUN TO HIM? SOMETIMES IN LIFE, WE’RE NOT PUT THROUGH TRAGEDY TO TEACH US A LESSON, SOMETIMES THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS. AND WE HAVE A CHOICE TO MAKE. WE CAN EITHER STILL FOLLOW HIM, OR TURN AWAY. I CANNOT TURN AWAY. IT ACHES MY HEART WHEN I HEAR THINGS LIKE, “WELL, GOD IS TRYING TO TEACH YOU SOMETHING THROUGH THE DEATH OF YOUR LOVED ONE…”……WHAT?!?!?!?! THAT IS SUCH A SELFISH WAY TO VIEW DEATH. SO YOU MEAN GOD WOULD ACTUALLY TAKE ANOTHER PRECIOUS PERSON’S LIFE JUST TO TEACH A LESSON TO ME? HEAVEN FORBID. NO, MY PRECIOUS READER, THAT IS NOT HOW GOD WORKS. YES, WE MAY LEARN LESSONS IN THE MIDST OF TRAGEDY. BUT DEATH IS A PROMISE IN THIS LIFE. WE ARE ALL BORN, AND WE ALL DIE IN THIS LIFE. YET WITH HIM THERE IS ETERNAL LIFE. AND TRAGEDY MAY HAPPEN. MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, IT DEFINITELY WILL. BUT STAY CLOSE TO HIM. HE’S THE ULTIMATE COMFORTER. HE WILL NOT LEAVE YOU, THOUGH YOU FEEL HE HAS.

I HAVE BEEN THINKING SO MUCH ABOUT THE PARABLE OF THE SOWER IN MATTHEW 13: 18-23. I ENCOURAGE YOU TO READ IT. MY HOPE IS THAT I WILL NOT BECOME ONE WHO LETS THE AFFLICTION OR PERSECUTION (VV. 21), OR THE WORRY OF THE WORLD AND THE DECEITFULNESS OF WEALTH (VV. 22) CHOKE HIS WORD OUT OF ME. I HOPE I CAN PROVE TO BE ONE WHO WAS “GOOD SOIL” (VV. 23). I HOPE THE SAME FOR YOU. YES, OUR LIVES MAY BE FILLED WITH SORROW, PAIN, WORRIES, FEAR, HURT…….BUT IT WILL NOT LAST FOREVER. AND EVEN IF IT DOES LAST THIS LIFETIME THROUGH, HE HAS ALREADY HAD THE LAST WORD!! MARANATHA!!! COME, LORD JESUS!!! I AM SO WEARY. I AM SO HURT. I AM SO TIRED. HELP ME KEEP MY EYES ON YOU SO I CAN STILL SEE, HELP ME AND MY FAMILY KEEP OUR EYES ON YOU AND NOT LET THIS WORLD TAKE AWAY THE HOPE YOU’VE PLANTED SO FIRMLY IN US. HELP US ALL KEEP LOOKING UP, NO MATTER WHAT LIFE THROWS OUR WAY.

*”COME TO ME, ALL WHO ARE WEARY AND HEAVY-LADEN, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST. TAKE MY YOKE UPON YOU AND LEARN FROM ME, FOR I AM GENTLE AND HUMBLE IN HEART, AND YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. FOR MY YOKE IS EASY AND MY BURDEN IS LIGHT.” -MATTHEW 11:28-30

“MY SOUL WEEPS BECAUSE OF GRIEF; STRENGTHEN ME ACCORDING TO YOUR WORD.” -PSALM 119:28

“I WILL LIFT UP MY EYES TO THE MOUNTAINS; FROM WHERE SHALL MY HELP COME? MY HELP COMES FROM THE LORD, WHO MADE HEAVEN AND EARTH. HE WILL NOT ALLOW YOUR FOOT TO SLIP; HE WHO KEEPS YOU WILL NOT SLUMBER.” –PSALM 121:1-3 (emphasis mine)

KEEP LOOKING UP.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 02:22:48 GMT

SO, WHILE SNATCHING A FEW MOMENTS WITH OUR FAMILY TOGETHER YESTERDAY, WE HAD TO RUN A COUPLE OF ERRANDS, GET MY LIL’ MAN’S HAIR CUT, HIT THE STORE, THEN COME STRAIGHT HOME. THAT WAS THE PLAN, ANYWAY. CUT TO A FEW HOURS LATER: MY SON WAS DROPPED OFF AT MY SISTER’S HOUSE WHILE MY HUSBAND TOOK ME TO THE ER. YEAH. THEY DID THREE X-RAYS ON MY ANKLE, I SPRAINED IT PRETTY BADLY. BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS I DIDN’T BREAK IT. FOR NOW, I HAVE TO STAY OFF OF IT. PRETTY HARD TO DO WHEN ONE HAS A FOUR-YEAR-OLD TO RUN AFTER. MEANWHILE, THE SWEET HANDSOME HUSBAND IS TAKING CARE OF ME. I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’D DO WITHOUT HIM. AND DYLAN KEEPS KISSING MY ANKLE TO MAKE IT BETTER. HOPEFULLY THIS WILL BE OVER WITH SOON. IF YOU KNOW ME, YOU KNOW I’M NOT ONE WHO LIKES TO SIT FOR MORE THAN A MINUTE AT A TIME! IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANY ENCOURAGEMENT AND PRAYER IS EXTREMELY APPRECIATED. THANK YOU!

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 16:44:45 GMT

*MY SISTER-IN-LAW IS STILL DOING ABOUT THE SAME. PLEASE CONTINUE PRAYING FOR HER AND THE WHOLE FAMILY. AS OF NOW, ALL WE CAN DO IS HOPE THAT SHE FULLY RECOVERS, AND SOON. SOME PEOPLE DON'T REGAIN COMPLETE MOVEMENT THROUGHOUT THEIR BODIES AND LIMBS, WE'RE PRAYING THAT'S NOT THE CASE FOR HER, THAT SHE REGAINS EVERYTHING. IT COULD BE MONTHS TO A FULL YEAR BEFORE SHE'S FULLY OVER ALL OF THIS.

*I'D REALLY APPRECIATE PRAYER FOR OUR FAMILY, TOO. THERE'S LOTS HAPPENING. AND SEEING THE CHRISTMAS SEASON APPROACHING SOON HAS MADE ME MISS MY MOMMA DESPERATELY. I CAN'T HELP BUT SMILE SOMETIMES, BECAUSE CHRISTMAS WAS HER ABSOLUTE FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR. HOWEVER, THE MOMENTS ARE STILL SO OFTEN THAT I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE SHE'S NOT HERE ANYMORE TO SHARE LIFE WITH US.

*I'M QUITE APPALLED WITH THIS MOVEMENT OF "BELIEVERS" LATELY WHO HAVE BEEN SO QUICK TO JUDGE BARACK OBAMA. I DID NOT LIKE EITHER CANDIDATE THIS YEAR, BUT THE BOTTOM LINE IS THIS MAN WAS ELECTED TO LEAD OUR COUNTRY. IF YOU ARE A TRUE "BELIEVER", THEN YOU MUST ADHERE TO THE FACT THAT THIS MAN WAS ORDAINED TO FILL THIS SPOT. SPREADING RUMORS ABOUT HIM BEING MUSLIM, THE ANTI-CHRIST, ANTI-AMERICAN, ETC.....HOW DISGUSTING FOR "BELIEVERS" TO TAKE PART IN GOSSIP!! HOW IN THE WORLD IS THAT THE "CHRISTIAN" THING TO DO???!!?! IF YOU HEAR SUCH NONSENSE, REMIND YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS OF HOW DISGUSTING IT IS TO TREAT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING THIS WAY. WE SHOULD BE PRAYING FOR HIM, JUST AS WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN PRAYING FOR BUSH AND EVERY PRESIDENT BEFORE AND AFTER THIS TIME. WE ANSWER TO ONE LORD. AND HE HAS APPOINTED THIS MAN. DON'T BE A PART OF TEARING DOWN HUMANITY. "PRO-LIFE" DOES NOT JUST MEAN "NO ABORTIONS".....IF YOU'RE GOING TO SAY YOU'RE "PRO-LIFE".....THEN BE PRO-LIFE ALL AROUND.......LOVE OTHERS, GIVE TO OTHERS, TAKE CARE OF THE NEEDY, TAKE CARE OF THE WIDOWS AND ORPHANS,......."TREAT OTHERS THE SAME WAY YOU WANT THEM TO TREAT YOU".........."LOVE YOUR ENEMIES"............"HONOUR ALL PEOPLE, LOVE THE BROTHERHOOD, FEAR GOD, HONOUR THE KING".

*LET'S TRY TO REMEMBER HOW TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER INSTEAD OF SO QUICKLY JUDGING AND TEARING DOWN.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 23:29:48 GMT

SO ABOUT THREE HOURS AGO I WAS JUST EXHAUSTED. IN LIGHT OF THE PAST YEAR'S EVENTS, WITH THE PAST WEEK PILED ON, MY SON'S ALLERGIES OR A COLD BUGGING HIM, GETTING READY TO LOAD UP ON THE ROAD IN THE MORNING.......I STARTED REALLY MISSING MY MOMMA SOOOOOOOOO MUCH. BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO FOCUS ON THAT, AS THERE IS MUCH ON MY HUSBAND'S PLATE RIGHT NOW. SO I WALKED OVER TO MY HUSBAND WHO IS, WELL, IN A WORD WEARY. I PUT MY ARMS AROUND HIM, SMILED REALLY BIG AND SAID, "YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN THINKING......WITH HOW STINKY THINGS HAVE BEEN, LIFE CAN ONLY GET BETTER, RIGHT? I MEAN IT HAS TO GET BETTER.....AND EVEN IF IT DOES GET WORSE SOMEHOW, THEN IT STILL HAS TO GET BETTER AFTER THAT!".......

A SHORT TIME AFTER THAT, MY HUSBAND COMES IN FROM LOADING THE VAN AND MANAGES TO SQUEEZE OUT OF HIS FRUSTRATED LIPS, "I HAVE TO TAKE THE BATTERY AND GET IT CHECKED. THE VAN WON'T START. IT'S EITHER THE BATTERY OR SOMETHING WORSE....PRAY IT'S NOT THE 'SOMETHING WORSE'." SERIOUSLY? GOD, SERIOUSLY, WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?!!?!?!?!?
ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS THOSE SITCOMS WHERE THINGS ARE JUST SO RIDICULOUSLY BAD FOR SOMEONE THAT ALL YOU CAN DO IS LAUGH BECAUSE IT'S REALLY NEVER THAT BAD ALL AT ONCE IN A PERSON'S LIFE......HAHA. YEAH, RIGHT. WE'RE IN THAT SITCOM RIGHT NOW.

IT WAS THE BATTERY, THANK GOD. IT WASN'T "SOMETHING WORSE". THANK YOU LORD.

EDIT: WHEN HE WENT TO DOUBLE CHECK EVERYTHING ON THE VAN, HE PULLED UP AND WAS NOTIFIED BY THE MEN WHO WORKED THERE THAT WE HAD A HEADLIGHT OUT. SERIOUSLY??!?!?!?!

AN HOUR AFTER THAT MY SON WOKE UP FROM A MUCH NEEDED NAP, HE WAS IN ONE OF THOSE, "I'M SO SICK, HUNGRY, HOMESICK, TIRED, AND EXHAUSTED, SO ALL I'M GOING TO DO IS THROW A FIT BECAUSE I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO" KIND OF MOODS. AS I PICKED HIM UP WHILE HE WAS JUST FLAILING ABOUT, CRYING AND WHINING, I WHISPERED IN HIS EAR, "IT'S ALRIGHT, MOMMA'S HERE. EVERYTHING'S OKAY BECAUSE MOMMA'S HERE".....AND I LET HIM JUST THROW A FIT WHILE I HELD HIM IN MY ARMS. AND AS I WAS LIVING THROUGH THIS MOMENT, I REMEMBERED THAT'S WHAT OUR LORD DOES WITH US. I WANT TO DO THE SAME THING MY FOUR-YEAR-OLD WAS DOING, I WANT TO JUST LOSE IT AND CRY AND SCREAM AND PITCH THE BIGGEST FIT I CAN THROW ALL AT ONCE.......BECAUSE I KNOW WHEN I DO, GOD WILL WHISPER THE SAME THING, "IT'S OKAY, I'M HERE....EVERYTHING'S OKAY BECAUSE I'M HERE."